Good News Everyone!

As many of you know our family has been in a time of waiting. We have anxiously been waiting for God to "put us back in the game." Our time of rest is over and God is placing us in Auburn, Indiana at Lakewood Park Baptist Church and School. Mike has accepted the position of Director of Children's Ministries and Early Learning Ministry. This position is the opportunity that God has been laying on our hearts for the last few years and he has prepared us for it.

We want to say THANK YOU to those who have prayed for us, given us money, food and a place to live, who have spoken words of encouragement and hope during our time of anxious waiting. We could not be more thrilled with this prospect of change but also ask for continued prayer as ministry is not easy. 

We also asked for continued support while we anticipate this move and as God works out the details of housing, moving and the start of a new job. 

Thank you again. Your support has helped us to grow through our time of waiting. 

The greatest of these

On Saturday, my blushing bride (of five years) and I went out to eat. We like going out, spending time away, just the two of us. And there, over the end bites and pieces of our dinner and last bits of melting ice in our drinks, we had the best conversation of our marriage.

Lately I have been down. Very down. This transitional time in our life has continued much longer than I thought it would. It’s hard during this time to not blame myself. If I am not getting a job it has to be because I am not desired as a worker. Now this is true with most jobs but I am not trying to get most jobs. I am desiring to follow God’s will for my family and that means waiting and listening until the doors are opened for us. This is hard. Very hard. To not feel inadequate in God’s time is a difficult thing. As a result of this time, I have lost faith in myself. This is where my bride comes in.

She reminds me of who I am, of the person God created me to be. She looks me in the eyes and tells me how much she loves and supports me. This is how a marriage works. When one is down, God fills the other with strength.

You see, lately I have been having a problem. God created me to love. That is the purpose he has for me, and that is the way he gifted me. God gifted me in a way that allows me to love people in the way that they need it. This is why I work so well with kids. So many kids just want someone to pay attention to them. This can mean just talking, playing a game, or giving a hug. I know a lot of people don’t understand it but when I pick a kid up and then their face lights up, I know I am doing what I was created to do. When that child knows someone would think they are so special that they drop what they are doing, pick them up in their arms and give them their undivided attention, it means the world to them.

Here is the thing with me though I love all kids whether they are my own or not like they are my own. My reason for doing this is as follows; I don’t know if there is anyone in their life who loves them like they were their own child. And to me, this is unacceptable. To love a child like they are your own means to unconditionally love them. No matter how many times they don’t listen, or how often they ask you a question, or jump on your back you still love them wholeheartedly.

There is a very clear mandate that God has given all men to treat and take care of orphans and widows. But you know what, you don’t just run into little Annie on the street anymore. There are so, so many kids without a father or without a strong male role in their life. These kids are all around us, in our church, our schools, and neighborhoods. Developing a relationship like this can be tough. It has been for me, you see not everybody appreciates a guy giving a child attention. So many people now assume something wrong or bad is happening. I have faced this challenge many times in my own life. Co-workers, parents, and passers by don't quite understand why this guy who is not the father is picking up and holding a kid. But to me the thought of knowing that a kid didn't get a hug today because someone else doesn't think its appropriate makes me sick. Its kind of funny that hugs can be offensive but some people see it that way.  

Let me give you some perspective. Recently I got to hang out at camp for a few days. During that time, I was approached by a girl who I didn't recognize at first who proceeded to tell me about her day. After a couple days of this happening it finally clicked. Three years ago this camper was at camp and got very homesick. I made sure that everyday she was checkup on and that she was having fun and every night I made sure she got a big hug and knew that someone was looking out for her. I didn't bring it up with her but on Friday before heading home we were sitting by the chapel and she leaned over and said “thank you, I don't think I would have made it this week without you.” Now, I’m not telling this story because I want a parade, neither do I want people reading to go “Aww thats so sweet” (feel free to aww in the comfort of your own home). To me, this was common sense. This wasn't going above and beyond, it wasn't going an extra mile. I was following my mandate as given to me by my Creator to be loving and that is all. This is the way I live my life. This is what I am going to focus on. While there may be doubt and uncertainty due to the circumstances I face in my life, I will still live my life this way. While we wait and hold in this pattern of transition I will continue to serve,  with a fully loving heart.

Glorious Unfolding

Yesterday as I was driving home, I flipped through the stations on the radio and stopped right as this song “glorious unfolding” by Steven Curtis Chapman came on. I was stunned. The beginning of this song hit me so suddenly, so accurately described my struggle I was blown away. This is how the song starts.

Lay your head down tonight

Take a rest from the fight

Don’t try to figure it out

Just listen to what I’m whispering to your heart

‘Cause I know this is not

Anything like you thought

The story of your life was gonna be

And it feels like the end has started closing in on you

But it’s just not true

There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold

And this is going to be a glorious unfolding

These words spoke so true to me. As I was once again leaving my family to work for not enough pay, I really needed to hear this. Our journey into ministry has not occurred the way I thought it would. It has taken a lot more time, and has been rather discouraging. And yet, I keep hearing God speaking to me “Michael, we are going to do great things. I have made you to love, that is your job, that is your task and together we are going to teach people to love like they never thought possible before”. I hear God say this to me constantly, so as the days, weeks, and months go by with what seems like countless possibilities slipping away, I know that something is yet to unfold. Something glorious is coming.

Here is a link to the song, please give it a listen. If like me you are in a time of waiting or just need some encouragement listen to it, let the words sink in and take hold. There’s so much of the story to unfold, and this is going to be a glorious unfolding. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rolTdI7I_4M

Doing Battle

    There comes a time during the journey that there is intense spiritual warfare. This can be good because it means that you are on the right path doing the will of God. But these battles are not fun and they come from the most unexpected sources. Depression, anxiety, car troubles, unexpected bills, relationship misunderstandings, irritability for no reason, pets doing things they've never done before and straight up lies coming from those you love most.
    
    These are the times that prayer and our swords are the best weapons we can wield. What better way to battle lies, misgivings and doubt than to ask the One who has given you the promise to begin with and will always tell you the truth. The God who owns the universe and hold the depths of the sea in the hollow of his hand (Isaiah 40). The God who is faithful and has my best at the very center of everything he does.

    You fight those lies and those off days with the promise that the God who names each star in the universe cares when your hair falls out. Knowing that every creature is cared for, so why wouldn't He care more about me, His master piece, His precious child, His own image. And remember His promise that he will never leave me or forsake me, and that he has a prefect plan to give me a future and a hope.

  What did I do to deserve this...nothing. He only asks that I seek Him, that I ask what He wants for my life and then obey.

  So, I willingly step out in faith not knowing where my foot will land but knowing that God knows and that is enough for me.

Patience, Usefulness, and Goodness

A few weeks ago, I was able to attend church with a family that is very close us. As we arrived and the service was starting, one of the kids grabbed my hand and joyfully ushered me to a seat. The past few days, I have been thinking about that image. When was the last time I joyfully lead someone to hear about Christ? Maybe leading someone by the hand is a bit much, but what have I done that accomplishes the same goal. What is it about children that allows them to so freely and fully give like they do? They don't hold anything back and that includes telling others about Christ. 

As I have become an adult, I have become a very accepting person. I have learned that everyone has their own stories filled with both hope and pain. I try to not make others feel bad about the choices they have made, but at the same time try to make the reason why I live the way I do clear. Is this enough though? Should I find my local street corner and start proclaiming (not in this weather...burr)? Where is the line then? How far into someones life should I trespass?

I have tried to live it out by example so others could see, and then when they need help in their life they will be likely to seek me out. Sometimes I complain about being a problem solver, but the truth is I love it. I love it because I’m good at it. I’m good at it because that's how God made me. I loved working at camp, because there is always a million problems that need fixing. I felt needed and useful.

During this transition it has been tough. I have felt like a star player sitting on the bench. Fouled out of the game and having to watch others do what I love. Its the uselessness that makes waiting so hard. Not that I always have the coolest head in an emergency, it is just so ingrained inside of me to act. That's why for me this has not a period of rest, it has been a period of inaction.

I have been searching through the little moments in my day how I can act. At work there is opportunity, but it is just a small means to no end. At best I am ensuring that some children know they are cared for. A good thing for sure, but not enough.

The search to find what is next for us has been very hard. I sit at the computer and look through listings, check church websites, listen to sermons online, research the area even stalk the church staff on facebook. I see what they are doing, the type of person they want to come serve at their church and immediately my mind starts reeling. I notice immediate gaps, see instant improvements. I’m not saying I’m perfect, its just that action is to strong inside of me, it is my immediate reaction to most things.

But, in the end it is just nice thoughts. I wait, desperate to act, to be needed and feel useful, while at the same time trying unbearably to understand what exactly God wants me to learn in this time.

While I wait, I am warm, fed, clothed, and loved. My heart strives to be content with this, but without being useful, it is difficult. So, I ask you pray for me to be content with what is before me. I ask for patience. I also ask to that you pray for me to be ok with not being needed. That I am not useless.

This verse in look has been looming over me for the past year or so. It has kind of become my mission, and the thing that really has helped my carry on. Luke 6:45 “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

Here’s to goodness.

How do you explain God's call?

It's been difficult for us since we have been home when someone asks "What brought you back to Michigan?"

We give the expected answer of bringing Riley closer to family, followed by God called us to ministry so we came back till God tells us what our ministry is going to be. These are both reasons why we came back and they are very good reasons to move for sure.

What is hard to explain is that God told us to go back to Michigan. Period.

He told us "Go to Michigan, I have a purpose there for you."
We asked "What purpose?"
And He answered "I'll show you when you get there."

We knew that He wanted us for ministry but did not know what that meant. There had been an interview with a church in Michigan that we thought for sure that God was calling us to and wanted us to be ready to jump into that position. To our surprise that wasn't God's purpose. Then we liked another church that was looking for a youth pastor, visited and talked to the pastor and thought for sure that was God's purpose-but it wasn't. And still there has been nothing that has indicated what ministry God has for us.

But we know, without a doubt, that this is where God has put us so that He can use us in ministry. We feel very much like Abraham when God told him to pack his tent and set out. Abraham did not know where he was going or what was waiting for him. What he did know is that God knew, and that was all that mattered. This is a hard attitude to maintain when God doesn't meet our earthly expectations for timing and creature comforts. But He never promised that. So, we wait for Him to reveal His prefect will in His perfect timing.

For
All
I
Trust
Him

People look at you like you are a crazy person when you have left a good home, job, and community and moved 2,500 mile across the country for no other reason than God said so. Without a job to go to, or a place to live when you got there and no idea where you were supposed to go.

How do explain that to someone who has never had that kind of call placed on there hearts? How do you convey that you aren't crazy for following God despite the looks they give you? How do you show the greatness of God when you are homeless, jobless (fyi: not anymore), and have a child that you can't afford food for? How do you not look like a crazy person? So, we give the more simple and more widely accepted version of why we moved back to Michigan.

Would we have followed knowing it was going to end up the way it has? Would we have, knowing that it would last longer than the few weeks we first expected? Would we have jumped knowing we would have no income for 2 months while we waited for in interim job to pay the bills? Would we have left knowing that we would have to wait on God to reveal his purpose? Honestly, I don't know, which just proves more that God knows our hearts and how to make us move. He knew that we wanted to follow His will for our lives. So He called us trust Him and to be in the center of His will...in the middle of Michigan in the middle of winter.

Square Peg, Round Hole

   Since we have decided to go into ministry, we have had many discussions about what want to do, what type of ministry we want to do, where we want to be and what we can bring to a ministry. We have talked about camping ministry since we have a ton of combined experience in camping. We have talked about what working at a church would look like for us and what kind of children's ministry we would like to see since we would be raising our child there.

    After many hours of talking about it all we decided that no matter where we ended up that we are a square peg for a round hole.

   For all the years of experience, all the education and philosophies of ministries we have come to the conclusion that we will never fit perfectly in any church, camp or ministry. We have very high expectations when it comes to doing God's work. 

  By no means do we think that we are perfect or that every ministry is doing it wrong. What we do see is that many churches and camps have a fundamental biblical flaw of choosing manly ways of ministry instead of Godly ways of ministry and that is the change we desire to bring to the world. 

  Something that I have discovered about my husband is that has the gift of understanding what children and youth desire most, what they need and how to meet both of those things in practical ways. I have never seen someone create such fast relationships with kids he sees for only a few hours a week or after spending a day with him how attached they become to him. It is truly a God given gift of love and understanding. 

  The desire we share is to build relationships in order to bring people closer to God. We are not big into traditional programming or extravagant shows to draw people in, we don't care about how many people come through the door. We care about quality services, time spent together building up the church and preparing youth to take their place in leadership and teaching those younger than them and in the future.

   

   This seems to be the hardest thing to bring into practice in ministries because someone said that getting numbers in the door at any cost was the best and only way to measure success. That building relationships, teaching good biblical life-style and raising up the next generation to take over the leadership was secondary to bodies in the chairs and flashy modern programming. This makes us a square peg that seems to never fit into a round hole.